The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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There are two lawyers about to enter a court room. They look at each other shake their hands and then the defending lawyer smiles and says "I'm Jewish your f*cked"

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

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What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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<=3 penis

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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Why did the fisherman go to Alaska? The commercial fishing business is strong there and it was a sound financial decision.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops