Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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I told you it would happen

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

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Q: How does a robber get into your house? A: Through a door.

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if a chcken lays an eggg what happens? a baby bird comes out

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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Why did the

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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