How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

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How old are you? 20

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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