Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops