Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Justin Bieber

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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