whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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