what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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Why did little Billy fall of his bike? anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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Why did the blonde switch the lamp on? Because it was getting dark

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

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Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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