You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Im black

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf which impairs the ability to register sights and sounds necessary to operate an automobile.

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Your dads dead. lol

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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shut up iggy

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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