Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a potato flew around my room

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the puppy poop? he had too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops