I've got a dig bick

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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