Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Once upon a cross

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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Black People

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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