how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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What has a head but can't see? A penis.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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BOTTOM!!!

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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penis

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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