How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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U mad?

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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Why was the gay kid beaten to death Because he was also an outstanding racist and lived in a highly populated african american community.

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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What's black can run really fast and jump really high? A panther

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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