What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops