If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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Knock knock. Racism.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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