What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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