Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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A man walks into a pole.

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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