Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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a potato flew around my room

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Im cute hehehee

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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