what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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This one time at band camp....

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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