How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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Knock, Knock. Come In.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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im black

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops