What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

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This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

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Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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bum sex lol

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i got one question Screw You

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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mark is mark

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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