Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

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A women's opinion.

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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