I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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where did sally go after the bombing? everywhere.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Today is May 18 2016.

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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