Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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I saw a poor man named rich

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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One day, John ate some food. He quickly realized he had an upsetting feeling in his stomach, so he stopped eating food and used the restroom. Then he drew a picture.

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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