Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the teenage girl crying? She wasn't, she was just experimenting with her emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is another word for a woman that ends in unt. Aunt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +6

two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a toddler with a gun? Interesting

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Snooki want smoosh smoosh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops