whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A. Hey.. B. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

YOLO MAH BROLO

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a drumset fell off a clif. Badoom ch.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

thumb_up thumb_down +28

69

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

women have rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops