A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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A ginger was with his friends

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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Why did the man climb to top of the tower? To push the Jew off.

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What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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