So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

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A snake walks into a bar

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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Tommy got hit by a truck Knock knock Whos there Not tommy

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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Reed is poopin

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops