A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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Your Mamas So Fat That When She Jumped Into The Ocean All The Whales Swam Around And Started Sinqinq (We Are Family Even Though Your Fatter Than Me.)xD

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Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

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verry nice how mUCH?

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops