Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

So a disabled man walks into a bar...

Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

q

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

I'm going to Re-write History... History

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...