- Anti Joke

What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

What did the Black guy say to the White Rapper? I really like your music.

MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

Your mom.

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

There was a dedicates Muslim man on a plane. He was travelling to Melbourne for a business conference so he could help support his family as well as he can.

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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