How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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