how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You should never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Mr Webb *Hit keyboard loudly* -...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops