What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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I WILL DESTROY ISIS

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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[] i have read and agree to the terms of service Nope

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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I like to eat people

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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