How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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javascript:alert("your own");

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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How did th-A fridge.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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get on your knees and make a donut face:)

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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7

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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