What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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A black man didn't walk into a bar

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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