What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

what do gay people eat?? food

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

Land Rovers

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

osama bin ladens hiding spot

whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

Why Sam Vitale gay? Because he loves men!

What is Earth made out of? Earth

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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