What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Society.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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George Bush.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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