A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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stop it ryan vallee

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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hey

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like for a handjob.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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