A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Christians pornstars.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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fabien

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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you will now laugh.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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Women's Sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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