Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops