Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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womens rights

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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