What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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