What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Justin Bieber

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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