Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Penis.

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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