Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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but there is a road to the super market

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Women Drivers.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Haha pizza

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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