What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

Why Did the throw up He was sick

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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