Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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TOP KEK

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops