Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Barack Obama.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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This is not a joke.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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