What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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