What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

i have aids and a chode

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey, you have small hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

45.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops